Tales from a Psychiatric Hospital

July 17th, 2010

Just wanted to share some of experiences and tips from my 6 week Psychiatric Hospital stay from September-October 2007……

1. When in lock down you can’t keep your used floss in your garbage. Can you believe that! When my nurse “David” held his hand out with a paper towel on it, I said you have got to be f’in kidding me that wouldn’t hold me….then in my mind I was like or would it? That’s why you can’t have floss in your garbage in lock down.

2. When in lock down pray you don’t get the room by the phone. I got that room and it was brutal. I felt terrible for one patient who was calling all the plastic surgeons in the phone book about getting a tummy tuck and when the price wasn’t right he then started calling veterinarian offices…the phone was taken away for 2 hours shortly after that.

3. When hospitalized food is currency. When friends and family bring yummy goodies SHARE. Most people will do the same. It’s all about Karma!

4. There may be patients that are physically challenge, so if they need assistance help them. I would set out their meal trays before my own, so they wouldn’t have to wait for their nurse.

5. When voting at the portable voting station don’t crap your pants! Seriously this happened! Hilarious and very direct BP lady that I was in the hospital with me was at the portable voting station and all of sudden said “Pardon me I just S*** my pants”, then got up and went to the washroom. We laughed for 3 days about that. My favorite part was seeing the uptight polling volunteers faces, I thought their eyes were going to pop out!

6. Once I was on the open ward I was allowed to just sign out in a book and could go on walks “on the grounds”. Luckily for me the hospital was across the street from a Petcetera, so me and another patient would visit the cats for adoption, go for coffee etc. etc.

7.  The Psychiatric Hospital is not a place to meet a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, life partner, lover, mate etc. etc. During my 6 week stay I saw plenty of romances brewing. My opinion on it is when a person is at a point in their mental well being that they have to be hospitalized a new romance is not what they need on their plate.

Bottom line for me if you can’t laugh at life’s experiences you’ll cry and I’d rather laugh! I hope this journal entry gave you a laugh.